Pushing away

In my current state, I feel like shit. I feel as if I'm pushing my friends away, and it's not even intentional.

Last Saturday I got mad infront of a group of friends I never get mad at. So, as a result, they thought something must be really wrong, when in fact, it wasn't a big deal. However, it was such a serious problem that they thought they should talk to me about it, in all seriousness. A friend of mine convinced them not to mention anything.

Yesterday, I blew up @ a friend for making an insensitive comment. Today he emailed me back to say he was sorry, and that the way I blew up wasn't "warranted" but it's ok.

And lastly, but not absolutely not least, I lost my temper @ Jess. *sigh* I feel like such an asshole lately. Why? I don't know. This is not my nature, yet I'm throwing flames left, right and center. My spiritual life has reached and all time low and I don't know what to do.

No one will probably read this any time soon, but I'd like to say I'm truly sorry, for the record.